Getting A Rise From The Dead
Originally aired on September 5, 2011.
Way to Die #219
On October 24, 2003, In Norfolk, VA. A deadbeat dad who abandoned his family to "find himself" (an act so heinous even the narrator says he wants to kill the man) gets drunk with his friend while setting up his new house, ignoring his wife and children's pleadings for him to return home. He brings in a pilot seat from a Soviet fighter jet, unaware that it still works. He pulls the lever on the seat and is launched 10 feet into the air, crushing his skull against the roof.
Alt names - Ouch Potato
Way to Die #318
On October 31, 2005, In Tampa, FL. Two trick-or-treaters decide to play pranks on people by vandalizing their property and shooting each other with silly string. After one lights a bag of dog feces on fire to leave on a neighbors' doorstep, he accidentally lights the silly string on his body, which in turn ignites his polyester costume. He is quickly burned to death.
Alt names - Night of the Living Deadbeat
Way to Die #459
On April 29, 2004, In Chester, PA. A psychotic ex-girlfriend stalks her newly-married boyfriend and his happy wife to the point that her invasions become threatening. Desperate to take their minds off the stalker, the couple go on vacation, during which the stalker tries to break in through the chimney and gets stuck. Trapped for a week, she slowly dies of a mix of starvation, dehydration, and suffocation until her body's finally freed by her returning boyfriend, noticing her corpse is preventing him from starting a fire in the flue.
Way to Die #127
On September 14, 2001, In Bamyan Province, Afghanistan. An award-winning American reporter denounces her U.S. citizenship, converts to Islam, and marries a Taliban leader. She celebrates by firing off several rounds of an AK-47 into the air during her wedding to fit in with the crowd, but loses control of the gun and dies when one of the bullets hits a metal pitcher and ricochets into her skull, where it bounces inside and causes massive bleeding and immediately fatal wounds.
Alt names - Terrorist Wedding
Way to Die #209
On October 7, 1999, In New Orleans, LA. In a parody of grindhouse-style zombie horror movie trailers, a teenage couple making out in a cemetery are scared off by a sickly, shambling man thought to be a zombie. The narrator then explains that the "zombie" is actually a cemetery groundskeeper with little respect for the dead suffering from a fatal allergic reaction to the fungicide he sprayed on the cemetery grass (which he unknowingly ingested by way of chewing on the golf tees he had in his mouth while using the cemetery as his personal golf course).
Alt names - Skin Game
Way to Die #178
On June 16, 1998, In Atlantic City, NJ. Two mobsters attempt to kill a third mobster who plans on testifying against them in court. They stand in front of his car at opposite sides and attempt to shoot through the windshield. However, the car has been outfitted with bulletproof glass, and one shooter's bullet ricochets into the other's carotid artery, killing him.
Alt names - Rico-Chet
Way to Die #487
On August 20, 2006, In Wichita, KS. Two delinquents are sentenced to a work release program on a farm after they got caught for grand theft auto. One of the delinquents picks up a captive bolt pistol, thinking it is a pump to a milking machine. The farmer's daughter warns him not to play with it, but he points it at her saying that he wants milk. Still thinking that it's a pump, the delinquent uses the captive bolt pistol on his own chest, piercing his heart.
Alt names - In Farm's Way
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