|Way to Die #294|
|"You've Got Dead Male"|
|Name of the death is a pun on "you've got mail"|
|Date||June 18, 2006|
|Episode this death
was featured in
|"Young, Dumb and Full of Death"|
"You've Got Dead Male", Way to Die #294, is the seventh and final death to be featured in "Young, Dumb and Full of Death", which aired on September 5, 2011.
Conner, a teenage vandal drives down the street with his girlfriend, so he can lean out the passenger window and hit passing mailboxes with a baseball bat. One night, when Conner was on a vandalism spree, one mailbox manages to withstand his baseball swing, so his girlfriend backs up the truck so he can hit it some more. He repeatedly whacks the mailbox with his bat, but the mailbox proves more durable when his baseball bat breaks to pieces, causing a huge splinter to fly into his chest along with a few smaller ones, puncturing his heart and collapsing his lung. A month ago, Conner and his girlfriend had laid waste to the very same mailbox that killed him. It turns out that the homeowner, Mr. Rivers, was a retired iron worker; he had reinforced that mailbox with two layers of steel to make it bat-proof and to prevent future vandals from destroying it. In the end, Conner's lifeless corpse slumps over the car door and he dies.
"Vandalism is a senseless act of destruction. Conner thought it was funny. But in the end, he wasn't laughing.. he was dead!"
- Ray Chao - Juvenile Parole Officer
- Dr. Khyber Zaffarkhan - Physical Medicine & Rehab